So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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