I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
