I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
