So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
