No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
