I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
