Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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