when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
