Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you never un-have a 4some
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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