Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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