my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
