I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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