No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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