Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
