She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think i got beer on your cat.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
