Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
