Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
