Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
