xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
