If i come over, it means nothing
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
