Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
