Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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