What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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