im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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