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We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and she was petting her beer can
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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