those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
