Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
