i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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