I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize