Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fuck me I smell like cheese
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
