jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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