So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
