Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
