Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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