you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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