She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
