; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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