fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
