if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
