I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
