Me too!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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