Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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