it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize