I like my sex mixed with concussions.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
