Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So vagazzling was a success
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
