in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize