I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
