The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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