I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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