but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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