I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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