I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
