I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize