I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
