The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
