I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
