he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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