my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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