He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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