You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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